grieving with my queer family

Jun 13 2016 Published by under queer

This weekend, an asshole walked into Pulse, a gay bar in Orlando. It was Latinx night. It's Pride. The club was packed with dancing queers. Pulse was a safe place, maybe the only safe place for some of them. Until this asshole decided to start shooting. He shot over 100 people, and 49 have died.

My heart is broken. I can't stop thinking of all the folks whose lives have been shattered. The folks who lost loved ones. Those that were injured and will carry this with them for the rest of their lives. For all the queer folks in Orlando that had their safe place turned to carnage, and won't feel safe again for a while. For the folks that were outed by because they were at the club that night and now have to worried that they could get fired or lose their homes - because it is 100%  legal to fire and discriminate against someone for being gay in Florida.

I'm grieving for all my queer friends and my chosen family.

I'm so lucky that I can live openly. I am honored that I can be a role model, mentor, and safe place for others. One of the most gratifying parts of my jobs is cheering on the young queer scientists that are totally rocking it. But I'm scared. I know how it feels to have to consider where you are before you hold your girlfriend's hand. I have a habit of always scanning faces as I walk down the street so I know if I've caught someone's attention. I have had men (always men) leer at me if they saw me kiss my girlfriend. I have felt the anxiety of walking at night and coming across a group of guys and hoping they weren't a bunch of homophobes that might want to "convert" me to heterosexuality (aka rape). I've had strangers yell at me on the sidewalk and tell me that I'm going to burn in hell.  I've walked down a street with a gay friend and been concerned that he was going to get beat up. These things have all happened in what would be considered "safe" places. And I'm one of the lucky ones. I've not been beaten up for being gay, or fired, or evicted, or had my daughter taken away from me.

There is homophobia all around us. People that can't bake a fucking cake if gay people will eat it. Politicians that argue that same-sex marriage should be outlawed, and that pass "religious freedom" laws that make it legal to discriminate against LGBTQI* people (and the people that vote for them). Every news organization that didn't mention that the shooter targeted queers, and erased the victims of this horrible crime. Religions that teach it is sinful to be gay. People concerned about the gay agenda. Mix in easy access to fucking assault rifles and people die.

The LGBTQI* community is a target of violence. In the first 5 months of 2016 at least 10 transgender people have been murdered. Sexual orientation was a factor in 20% of hate crimes in 2013.

I am grieving. I am angry. And I am scared. So I'm going go grab a beer at my local gay bar. I will take comfort in my queer community, and we will start to heal together.

Because in the end, love WILL win.


A gathering of queers and allies outside Stonewall, in support of our friends in Orlando. source

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